Sunshine 2023 #2: Kudelia/Atra fic

[alchemicink]

Back at it again with sunshine_challenge prompt 2!

Gladiolus: Generally, gladioli represent strength of character, faithfulness, moral integrity, and remembrance. Gladioli are actually the traditional 40th-anniversary flower and the birth flower for the month of August! Each individual colour of gladiolus is also symbolic.

That description of what gladioli represent immediately had me thinking about Kudelia and Atra from Gundam IBO. Particularly the "remembrance" part, though I think the other three descriptors fit these ladies too.

So I threw together a little post-canon fic where Kudelia muses on moving on without forgetting. This will be crossposted to ao3 and I'll add the link when it's up! Edit: it's on ao3 here!

Title: Takin' your ghosts for a walk
Fandom: Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans
Pairing: Kudelia/Atra (established relationship)
Content warnings: brief mentions of grief/mourning; spoilers for mentions of canonical character deaths
Notes: little bit of angst with fluff; set technically post-canon but a little before the flash forward in the last episode

~~~~~~~~~~~

It's not good manners to rest your elbows on the table, but Kudelia doesn't care for the half-forgotten etiquette lessons of her childhood at the moment. She places her head in her hands, and lets the weight press down on her elbows, accidentally creasing the stack of her handwritten notes underneath.

She knew that holding the position of Chair of the Martian Union wouldn't be easy, but she still didn't expect that every effort for a better future would be met with roadblock after roadblock.

"You look like you could use a break."

Atra's voice startles Kudelia from her thoughts, having apparently been too zoned out to even hear the door creak open.

"Atra, what are you doing all the way here in the city?" she says, but feels a smile slip onto her face at the sight of her wife. Even when it feels like the universe is crashing down around her, Atra is somehow always there to help carry her through.

Atra crosses the room and then hops up on the corner of the desk, disregarding any paperwork in the way and smiling as she reaches out. Kudelia grasps at her fingers, weaving them together like a net that'll catch all her emotions threatening to spill out.

"Needed a change of scenery for the day, and I thought I'd swing by Haba's shop," Atra answers, caressing Kudelia's hand with her thumb. "Come on and take a walk with us. I miss you, and whatever you're working on will still be here tomorrow."

Kudelia looks down at the notes scattered across her desk. Things she has to remember to research. Questions she needs to ask allies. Important tidbits that she'll need for negotiating with the trickiest political enemies.

"But there's still so much to do."

"The human debris abolishment proposal?" Atra continues, eyeing the papers and notes. "You know you're not going to get everyone to miraculously agree to that in the next few hours if you stay here. So what's the harm in taking a break today?"

Atra tugs on her hands until she manages to get Kudelia to stand up, and then she gives her a quick kiss as an apology for interrupting. She still has to stand on her tiptoes to do it, which Kudelia finds extremely endearing.

"Alright, I'm convinced," she agrees.

She'd stand up in a heartbeat against the most stubborn of politicians, but she folds every time when it's Atra doing the asking.

They exit the office to find Eugene watching over Akatsuki, and Kudelia can't help but laugh at how Eugene seems to be fighting a losing battle with the toddler who's currently trying to put his fingers up her bodyguard's nose.

Sometimes when she looks at Akatsuki, she wonders what his father was like at the same age. Was young Mikazuki quiet and reserved like when she knew him? Or was he bright and full of energy, not yet weighed down by the awful realities of life?

Mikazuki's not here anymore to ask. And perhaps the only other person who might know -- Orga -- isn't here anymore either.

The three of them walk down the sidewalk together, holding Akatsuki's hands as he toddles between them with hesitant awkward steps.

Their little family. Happy and safe.

The weather in Chryse today is hot and dry, but not too unbearable to cut their walk short. Atra talks as they navigate through the streets, alternating between telling Kudelia stories of the farm and the new orphanage, and telling Akatsuki about the shops they pass by to assuage his young curiosity.

The more they walk, the better Kudelia feels.

The sunlight helps. And getting to see the people of Chryse going about their daily lives, just doing the best they can too, makes it seem like all of her work hasn't been a waste so far. And holding Akatsuki's little hand -- cherishing the warmth -- while Atra is right here with them both.

Kudelia knows that most of her thoughts at work each day dwell on people who aren't here anymore. Biscuit. Shino. Akihiro. Orga. Mikazuki. And all the rest who didn't make it out. They cling to her like ghosts. Kudelia sometimes imagines that they're watching as she takes on the weight of their expectations, to try to make things better where they had failed.

The rest of the world might forget them, but Kudelia can't let them go.

But maybe the ghosts have been restless lately.

Maybe they need more than just the four walls of Kudelia's office.

Haba's shop comes into sight, and Atra begins telling Akatsuki about the days when she used to work there. Kudelia listens, soaks up every word because she loves to hear Atra speak, and she feels a sort of contentment settle in her bones. One she didn't think she was capable of anymore.

Perhaps the ghosts just want her to remember she's still alive too.

Comments

[lizardjay]

I know nothing about Gundam* but this is lovely! A perfect use of the theme :D

*(I've wanted to get into it for a while but there's so much stuff I don't even know where to start!)

[enemytosleep]

GUNDAM series are all separate so you don't need to follow lore between them. One of the big classics is of course Gundam Wing (DUO), but I am partial to Gundam SEED myself and will now not-so-subtly hint that you start there.

[alchemicink]

I'm a "bad" Gundam fan bc I've never watched Wing or Seed yet, but I really want to eventually!!

[alchemicink]

Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it, despite not knowing the series!

As for Gundam, as enemytosleep points out, they're all pretty much separate series. Some are in the same universe, but some (like Iron-Blooded Orphans) are in their own separate universes. So you can pick pretty much any series you think looks interesting! 😊 I'd also recommend The Witch from Mercury, as it's the newest Gundam series (though I haven't finished it yet myself)

[enemytosleep]

I haven't watched this particular Gundam, but a common theme through many of them include the ghosts of war or the ghosts of human ambition, and I can certainly feel that echoed here. I also love the small details that keep this scene in the present as she lets her thoughts wander. It's well done.

[alchemicink]

Oh yeah, I haven't watched a ton of other Gundam series yet, but that common theme is really what draws me into the series. I'm glad I was able to capture it here!

Thank you! 😊